Handle With Care | A Nanny Agency's Thoughts on Facebook (Meta) Childcare Groups

We’d like to interrupt our normal programming to remind everyone that Facebook childcare groups are not nanny agencies. Recently, we have seen a massive wave of individuals who are reaching out to alert us to issues that have popped up as they recruit and/or seek employment on local childcare groups (specifically, Triangle Nannies and Babysitters and Chapel Hill | Carrboro | Durham | Hillsborough Nannies and Babysitters). I get contacted because I am the admin of both groups.

A few examples of what we see:

• People send us videos of nannies on nanny cams. Usually this is to show us behavior they deem is unacceptable. We’ve seen everything from children being ignored, to a nanny who was screaming into a child’s face. We’ve seen babysitters sleep through a child waking up from a nap, a dog eat an entire chocolate cake while the nanny was outside texting, nannies who are on their phones for long periods of time while kids are trying to engage with them, and nannies who have had significant others join them during their shift throughout the day.
• We’ve been alerted to a nanny being hired for a long-term job and them not showing up for their first day.
• We’ve been alerted to no-shows when a babysitter fails to show up for a scheduled shift.
• We’ve been alerted to agencies that appear to be running scams in the area.

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On the flipside, we’ve had nannies report to us that employers have treated them poorly. Some of these messages include:

• Not being paid for time worked.
• Employers yelling at them or saying wildly unprofessional things.
• Employers not coming home on time at the end of a babysitting shift.
• Agencies not paying nannies.
• Attempts to steal online banking information.
• People who approach the nannies asking for sexual favors or blatantly making advances on the childcare providers in this group.
• At one time, there was a human in our groups who was messaging babysitters asking them to put a diaper on him and role play that he was a child. He has since (despite being blocked) rejoined the group numerous times under different names.

You name it, we’ve seen it. Between the two childcare groups that we admin and moderate, there are 24k+ families, babysitters, and nannies who are looking for meaningful introductions on Facebook (Meta) groups. Sometimes, a bad apple slips through on either side. This is FACEBOOK (Meta), after all.As the founder of a nanny agency, the Secretary of the International Nanny Association, and the President of Nanny Relief Fund, I am often times tapped for my unique industry insights. I am often asked, “what keeps you up at night concerning this industry?” My answer: weak vetting practices and underrepresentation. I stay awake at night wondering what other layers of super sleuthing we can overlay over our process to ensure we’re representing honest humans who are who they say they are, have the experience they are saying they have, and have actually worked for the individuals they are listing as references. I want to be able to ensure they love working with kids and that they will keep children safe while enriching their lives. I lose sleep hoping our clients are good people who are treating our nannies with respect, professionalism, and love.‍

Recently, I audited a fake reference call. It was flagged up by my team. These happen from time to time but this one was special. The peculiar thing about this reference was that our clients were listed as the most recent employer- but their professions were incorrect, and the phone number was wrong. The ages of the kids were spot on. The schedule was identical. The names of the employers were identical. From working with the family, we knew this nanny had, indeed, worked in their home (not placed by our agency). …and so, in our team meeting, I was alerted to this. I was told that contact had been made with the reference and it was scheduled for later that day. Of course, I listened in. What happened next is why I do what I do.

The reference was one of the most charming men I have ever heard on the phone. He was gregarious, kind, connective, humorous. We asked him to verify a few details regarding his home and kids- and he couldn’t “remember his address due to a recent move” and didn’t know the exact ages of the kids (“one moment while I check with my wife- I want to be specific”, he said). He padded this with "we recently moved, I am so sorry about this- things have been crazy and I want to give you the right information!" Moments later, he produced both the address and the ages, mentioning my clients’ children by name- referencing my clients’ home address. He walked us through all the activities that the nanny had done with his kids including the names of the kids’ schools. He discussed how the nanny had traveled with them on occasion. Details, details, details galore. Really likable guy. He chatted with us for about an hour (our reference calls are LONG- sorry we're not sorry) and he really stuck with the process.

When my team hung up the phone, we sat quietly for a moment- all of us thinking the same thing: wow. Someone give this guy an Academy Award, a sticker, and a pat on the back.

We alerted our clients, who were equally concerned and scared for their safety- having just had all the details of their children’s schools, schedules, and home address mentioned by a perfect stranger who was cleverly impersonating them. Our agency has ways of handling things like this, and I won’t go into the finite details of what happened next- but it wasn’t fun for anyone involved.I’m telling you all of this because it’s time for a reality check regarding humans (in general) and the internet (at large, but especially here on the ol' childcare groups). While I understand the story I just told has little to do with Facebook, I am telling you this to show you how easy it is to say you're someone you're not. Facebook makes it even easier and is accessible to anyone and everyone. This group is accessible to anyone and everyone. We have group rules but it’s easy to break these and many times, we never find out about it.I am oftentimes asked what the difference is between online recruiting platforms and our agency- the answer, in a word: filters. Online recruiting platforms have WAY fewer filters.

If you’re on Facebook recruiting, you have even fewer filters than online recruiting platforms provide- and dozens less than a reputable nanny agency provides.

‍My best advice:

• You absolutely MUST reference check, background check, and interview the individuals you’re entertaining hiring.
• There is no such thing as being too thorough when it comes to your littles.
• If you’re looking for your next employer on here: meet in a public space first (if you're not going through an agency), don’t share personal information like bank accounts, and if you see something- say something. You are interviewing the family as much as they are interviewing you- don't be afraid to ask questions!
• Advocate for yourself and have a work agreement that outlines things like compensation, vacation time, sick days, and guaranteed hours. Ask to be paid on the books as a W2'd employee.

At the end of the day, my priority is the safety of the children in this community- but YOUR safety matters to me as well. We’re doing our best over here to make sure this group is a safe space- but let’s be real, Facebook isn’t a safe space. Please look out for yourself out there.

Thanks for reading this,

Austin

CEO, My Girl Friday

‍President, Nanny Relief Fund

‍Secretary, International Nanny Association